Last summer, I concluded a 5-week long online support group for Adult Children of Divorce sponsored by the Diocese of Arlington, VA. During one of the sessions, we discussed vulnerability, so I'm going to be vulnerable with all of you right now:
My parents' divorce was the most traumatic event of my life, made worse by the fact that it took 13 years from start to finish. Thanks to Leila Miller, I learned that I was not the only adult child of divorce who feels a deep sense of pain and loss. Through a FB group based on her book Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak, I learned about Life-Giving Wounds: Catholic Ministry to Adult Children of Divorce and joined their Zoom support group last May.
The first session I attended was extremely difficult for me and I was in tears the entire 90 minutes. That evening, I had a headache that I assumed was from crying. Then the intense pain spread throughout my body so that I could barely sleep that night. Whenever the pain woke me up , I would pray -- for myself, for my parents, for the other people in the support group. The next morning, I woke up feeling perfect, aside from having puffy eyes. I truly believe that the physical pain was a manifestation of the pain of my parents' divorce beginning to leave my body. Though I still struggle with the repercussions of my parents' divorce, I am far more at peace now than I have been since I was 10 years old.
If you or someone you know is an adult child of divorce who continues to feel the pain of losing your family, I would like to invite you to join Life-Giving Wounds: Catholic Ministry to Adult Children of Divorce and encourage you to attend one of their upcoming retreats. Regardless of the location, I do plan to attend one of their retreats in the future.
It's not just you. There are a lot of us out there. I'm just starting my journey of healing, but it's better than not having the courage to begin the journey at all.
Please pray for everyone in the support group and for all those ACOD who are in pain, but have not yet discovered this ministry.
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*And a special thank you to my dear husband, who has walked beside me in my pain for over 17 years, though he will never truly understand it. He made it possible for me to do this because he knew how important it was for me and for our family and he consoled me when I was an uncontrollably sobbing mess after the first meeting. I love you.
